Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
