All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
