O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think my vagina is haunted
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
