Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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