Ambien. No doubt about it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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