i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
