I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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