Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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