Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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