how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
