I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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