How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
