I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
