also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
