hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
