real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
