so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
