I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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