I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
