I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
