You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
