I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
