Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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