are you still at the devil's house?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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