A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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