So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
wow bdsm is so cute
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
