I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
