we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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