Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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