Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
