Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
