is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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