look no pants
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
