I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Enjoy the penises
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
