he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
