I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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