i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
