On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
