Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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