Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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