I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
