you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
