you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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