Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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