I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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