Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
