upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I touched a dick in church today
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
