New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
