I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize