You surviving the open bar?
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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