he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
